What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?

I don’t have any examples of my own, but here is my favorite over explained joke from Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.

Scott: What?

Todd: Because you’ll be dust by Monday… because you’ll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up… dust. She dusts.

Scott: So, what’s on Monday?

Todd: 'Cause… it’s Friday now, she’s got the weekends off, so… Monday, right?"

My boss loves it and keeps suggesting we try it. Luckily, there isn’t much use for it in our line of work.

Mine has a weird crack down the middle.

This is a poor interpretation of average life expectancy numbers. Plenty of people lived into their 60s+, but due to high infant mortality, the average gets pulled way down.

Did you really have to show me this? Now I have a desire to buy (borrow?) one of these for a Halloween costume.

We should hold a vote to decide the spelling we can hold it next chewsday.

Second and third shifts are useless? Remember that when you can’t pickup your groceries after work.

Dangerops pregrent sex, will it hurt baby top of his head?

I think my house is pregernet??

My love for you is like a truck. Berserker! Do you want to making fuck? Berserker!

We’re hitting 10 years married this October! 11 years together.

In middle school, a kid got caught masturbating in study hall. I never saw him again after that. Word was that he moved away out of embarrassment. Parents probably just home schooled him or something.

In a completely different direction, my class broke the “suicide school” moniker. We were the first graduating class in like 10 years to not have a suicide.

Who checks notes cares?

I honestly thought they went out of business. The only one I might see on a regular basis closed and I didn’t see any on a recent short road trip. Whatever, their food was mediocre anyway.

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. Damn you, Large Marge!

I only lose my mind over advanced calculus. That’s some rough stuff.

For years I have said that y’all is the best thing to come out of the south.

“I hope you like lobster because I want to make you my Maine girl.”

Something about VerMOUNT.

“I’m glad I have a boat because I’m about to take you to rode Island.”

"Hi, I’m from Michigan. holds up hand and points to it with the other To be precise, here. I’d like to offer you a seat. To be precise, here. points to face.

“Girl, are you from the Midwest, because I love your cans, ass. (Kansas)”

At a meetup for technicians: “Are we in the Lonestar state because all I see is an amazing tech’s ass. (Texas)”

“Do you have a sister named Elsa because that would make you Anna. I’m on a trip around the country and my next stop is Mount Anna.”

“I’d love to get you in a threesome, but I’m not sure about my inuit girlfriend, so Alaska. (I’ll ask her)”

You forgot the pre-1700s picture where all of the US is red.