So there you are, an orc in mordor, on guard duty while sauron makes the rest of the army. It’s pretty great being on guard duty, nobody bothers you and you’ve just caught a rabbit that you’re now roasting on a small fire.
In the horizon a weird dude with a beard and a grey cape appears, he has several smaller humanoids with him … and a trebuchet.
The trebuchet is launched and a small dude is flung above you. The projectile/dude is manically trying to open the box that he’s apparently wearing as a hat?!?
You turn the rabbit, and when you look up again the guy has opened the box… Where did he go? You follow his path, and suddenly, next to the entrance to some random cave, you notice what could be the result of a small dude, with a metal box for a hat, hitting the side of the mountain. The sound hits your ears 2 seconds later. It’s like both a thud, a clang, and a squish all at once.
Even at this distance you can see something in the mess. Something shiny that you for some reason just know isn’t part of the box. You set off for the impact site.
What do you do now? If you want to investigate goto page 56 and if you want to alert the chain of command go to page 182.








I like to show my students the clip of French firefighters protesting and how they’re making police pull back. There’s a lesson in there about teamwork and being prepared.
We don’t mock you guys for that. There’s plenty other things to use for mocking the French. We’re secretly in awe of the liberal application of the guillotine in a class struggle.