I normally make a pony tail while eating (or at least brush then back over my shoulders and into my shirt to hold them there) I also have very strong hair, I recommend those silicon hair ties which look like sealing rings, they hold everything. If they break, just get thicker ones
Hatte to be mister smarty-pants here, but empirically if your life was ruined from the start, your chances of recovery through therapy are actually much higher then for someone who ruined it himself/got Ill later on in life.
The thing is: finding therapy that works for you is a process on its own. You will likely have to try a lot of them to find a good one who has free slots. But you will find one eventually and if you have it does help!
Just one word of caution: go to to ones who actually have a Dr./major/magister in psychology and are registered doctors.
I hope you life in a country with good universal healthcare, if so you can just go to a therapist (they offer single sittings for cases like that) and discuss with him what kind of therapy could work for you and what the next address can be.
I am someone who is not religious and believes everyone should have a free decision if they want to live or not, but my galeart says: man, don’t give yourself up, especially not because of damage inflicted on you by others. All the best from germany
To be fair, one can have good reasons against .ml as well as .world
Having two communities is not the worst idea imho