Is that a Graham Kennedy reference?

These might be worth trying, I don’t know.

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/g44762001/best-wearable-neck-air-conditioners/

If it’s not overly humid, evaporative air conditioners are a cheap to run way to keep cool. The personal units (Convair Classic etc) are typically about 50 to 80 watts, so a single solar panel, battery and inverter should guarantee safe, grid free cooling for one or two people.

Sounds a bit like Rustdesk. I’m happily hosting a relay on my VPS but the ‘account’ features don’t work for the free version. I just keep them in a note instead.

Maybe you could build a wooden bicycle.