Boomer Humor Doomergod

As someone who supports vaccines but opposes adulthood I’m torn on this

Humans are the most dangerous animals on the planet. Not just to other species, but also to themselves.

If you care about others, get as far away from them as possible as you are the greatest risk to their lives.

The right has conspiracy hypotheses.

The left has conspiracy theories.

So my plan of “if only people would go away” is a no-go?

I’d start on an automatic and then learn manual once you’ve got some practice with how to handle a car in traffic.

If you can find one try learning manual on a truck. They’ve got heavier parts which will put up with your mistakes a lot better than a car.

That sounds idyllic

Or buy 13 separate plots of land and move your hovel every other fortnight.

Still need to buy the land your hovel is on though

Very much not. For example the movie “Master & Commander” is based on a book but skips a lot of stuff.

That would require the democrats to actually do something

“Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratios in the world!”

Florence is a storm demigod, confirmed

I was the DD for my girlfriend’s birthday party and went to a Florence and the Machine show. It was outdoors and as the show got started black storm clouds started rolling in.

When they started “The Dog Days Are Over” all hell broke loose. Sheets of rain, huge lightning bolts and cracking thunder loud enough to drown out the music and the crowd.

But Florence stood there, exposed to it all, diaphanous robes lashed by the wind, not even noticing it as she belted out her anthem. As if she had called down the storm for backup vocals.

I wasn’t a fan before but I am now.

I can recognize a good idea even if I don’t think it’s worth it

Anarcho-syndicalist

Humans aren’t worth it.

I got gout and shingles

If this was 2014 you’d have broken the internet with this

I hate parties. I’ll be in my room.

Bortles!