Like rain on your wedding day.

People who use “unironically" unironically about unironical people. Unironically.

They’re both very bad in very good ways…

It also helps that they’re dead

Not a UNIVERSALLY helpful thing, though…

Correct. Business casual is when your nipples are just barely covered and you’re about to fire your agent.

According to my translator, that means

Meming for updoots? In a community called “funny”?! Goodness gracious me!

Size ≠ weight.

Meteors tend to be much heavier per cubic centimeter (or half-garlic if we’re still avoiding metric) than short-legged dogs or geriatric monarchs.

I live in a pretty rural area, I don’t know anyone

Could have just stopped there 🤷

The whole thing with meth and the like often being overrepresented in rural areas is that there’s fewer people around to notice when you want to keep things secret.

This includes addiction, meth labs, secret pill mills and more.

Sure, cities are more convenient for distribution and the like, but if your main priority is secrecy, the boonies is where it’s at.

When your next door neighbors are a mile away, you’d have the be very nosy to notice much of what they do.

whenever I visit the biggest city in my state, there’s fentanyl addicts and probably also meth and crack addicts in very alleyway and under every bridge. It’s not safe to be outside at night in that town. you will absolutely get stabbed, shot and/or robbed

Big rural conservative paranoia energy 🙄

My first time in New York, I accidentally got off the airport bus a couple of stops too early and walked through the infamous Jamaica, Queens neighborhood. In the middle of the night with all my luggage clearly labeling me a tourist.

I didn’t get mugged or stabbed. Other than one guy politely hitting me up for a cigarette and then equally politely taking his leave, I was left alone entirely.

It’s never happened to me.

See, THAT I do believe.

And there’s also a cow there!

I had one that turned into a newt the moment I got home

A few bags?

Ignore the engagement-bait brainrot-voice.

No thanks, but thanks for the warning to not watch.

gothub

I read that as “gothhub” at first 😄

I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense.

You are Kareem! I’ve seen you play. My dad’s got season tickets.

Wait a minute. I know you! You’re Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers!

Oh, really, Vernon? Why pretend? We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

There’s just no stopping in the left lane

The left lane has ALWAYS been for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only!