Is Groot at least dancing to ELO and riding space rats? Because if so, I might manage this:

• God: Don’t eat this delicious-looking thing right in the middle of the garden I made for you! Don’t even ask why.

• Lucifer: you should try this fruit, Eve!

• Eve and then Adam eat of the fruit and thus go from automatically obedient automatons to persons with knowledge about themselves and the world

• God punishes Lucifer and Eve

• The old men in charge of the church call Lucifer the ultimate evil and oppress women

Who’s REALLY the villain here? 🤔