The great sand croissant.

Having lived somewhere with constant tourists… I get it.

Forever establishing American expectations when traveling overseas.

We live on a planet with ruins that contain spaceships.

Rude.

Australia feels like a small country stretched around the perimeter of a genuinely impressive quantity of absolutely nothing.

Would you recognize irony if you sat on it?

Right, never start complaining about someone until they rule the world.

Two things can’t be bad at the same time, I guess.

Nothing good is allowed to happen ever again.