90k a year without a mortgage is like, 150k a year with a mortgage, so that’s very doable even for a decent lifestyle of traveling and hobbies. At that I would probably pick up something like bartending or something that doesn’t make much but would be interesting as a part time job. Slinging beer at a brewery could be a fun way to make some spare cash

As an admin, spot on. People don’t realize that as an admin I and liable for what goes on on my instance. Both financially and criminally. They can kick down my door for things posted, so of course I ban any NSFW, and I have still seen things I wish I could unsee that people have posted.

I always welcome others to spin up their own instance though. They are more than welcome to host it themselves, under their name.

You can never change the past, but you can change the future.

Your mistakes are going to continue, in fact they will probably get bigger. I’ll be vulnerable, I fucked up majorly and was let go from a previous job. It was a stupid fuckup, I should have caught it earlier, and it caused real money to be lost by the company and I let down my team. That guilt and embarrassment will stick with me for a long time.

However, I can’t let it stop me. It paralyzed me for a bit, I lost my confidence and stopped wanting to try at my position, but then one day I just started thinking about it. What did I actually do wrong, where did I go wrong, how did I let people down, and I decided I wanted to do my best to avoid that. So now at a new job I remember that incident, and I call out things earlier, I’m a bit less cocky, I do several little things that I just had to learn the hard way I guess.

The long point of my anecdote I guess is that those feelings never really go away, you’ll always be laying there at night and thinking about them. Growing though is acknowledging them, not trying to hide from them, and figuring out how you want to better yourself going forward.

I would retire.

I’d buy a moderately nice place in the city I want to libe in, provably 1mil absolute max, depending on property taxes. I would then invest the remainder, ensuring that with relatively stable investments I could live comfortably on the interest going forward, with the interest covering property tax and my expenses.

The platform this bot is advertising

a lot of online “influencers” peddle this trope to get suckers to buy their “get rich quick” tutorial classes. Plays on the “You get to be in the know, don’t miss out” bits of the brain

I’m glad you grew out of it. Too many boys never do

Did you not see where I striked it through and the other comment already calling that out, and wherein already admitted my mistake?

You’re right, I didn’t. Retracted.

~~This isn’t a business model, you just used an img2img model and had the prompt day “remove the watermark”. Those who make models and run the apis have a business. You (or the creator of this) do not. ~~

Hell that’s better than we get right now.

Of course, as someone who grew up in a family of strong guilt trippers, I empathize and know the path you’re probably on. It will take a fair amount of personal growth, but you’ll get there. That’s why I know there is no end state for who a good son is, because I tried for 25 years to be a “good son”, and surprise no matter what I did it always seemed like there was something more. To give an idea, I paid off my mother’s debts, I paid off her car, I took her on trips, I set up her retirement, and she still guilts me on that I should be doing more. It was only a couple years ago that I finally realized that the dreamed “You are a good son, I love you, thank you for everything you do for me” is never going to come. That hit very hard, and it makes me sad typing it now even, but it’s never coming.

Don’t we all have those what if questions? Maybe I ask because I’m myself unfulfilled with some parts of my life.

Absolutely, and that’s why I so strongly call it out. That the reasons why you chose one path over another should be your decision. No one else is going to choose the path that’s best for you, only you can do that. If you let others dictate what you should do then you’ll never truly be on your own true path, and you will regret it later.

I wish you all the luck. I’m always available to vent to, been through this myself.

I was literally going to figure out how to fork and compile it myself if it was forced

I also want to live my life but where I grew up, small town in GA, the expectation seems to be I move in with my parents to physically take care of them, otherwise I’m not a good son.

Oh man, okay so I feel this so hard. I have felt that guilt put on my shoulders and I’ve seen friends and family have that guilt put on theirs. You will need to choose your own path but I’ll say that you will be the only one who cares about your life path.

My friend moved to a place ~500 miles away from home and loved it, was happy to be there. His mother refused to visit. Old world “A mother shouldn’t visit her son, her son should respect her and come visit”. So he did. Then she guilted him into moving back home, giving up opportunities farther away. He is happy in the sense that he’s married and has kids and a fulfilling life, but he will always have the what if questions. What if his now wife and him had stayed, what if they had done this or that. I promise you, if you let them drive your life you will never be truly fulfilled.

Which is what drives my question. If they need assistance in the future, why couldn’t they move to where you are? Because every reason they could give could be equally flipped to you. “We have friends here”. “We have a house here”. “We like it here”. All of those you could say about where you are too. So if you are happy where you are and they need care why couldn’t they come to you?

The funny thing about people who think about things like “good son” or “good <familymember>” is that you will never do enough to appease them. Ever. You will need to grapple with this. You can move home. You can give them spongebaths. You can tuck them in at night and help them go to the bathroom. You will never be a “good son” if you aren’t now - because you are a good son. Just by thinking about this you are a good son. Their expectations of what a “good son” however non-commital and will always change, proven just with the guilt. The sooner you accept that their expectations of a “good son” will never be met, the sooner you can think more practically about how you want to proceed with life.

I had to go to therapy to realize how much guilt there was in my family, and learn some techniques on how to combat it. The most effective one is simply to call it out. They pull that “Well you’re just so far away” or “I wish you lived closer” you just gotta call that out, right there, on the spot. That shit breeds with repression, just letting it get away. “You’re just so far away” -> “You’re always welcome to visit”. “I wish you lived closer” -> “I wish you lived closer to me too!”. Put it right back out there. I’ve just also done the “Mom I’m not doing the guilt trip today. Your feelings are your own, I’m happy where I live and if you have a problem with it that’s your problem to work on, not mine”.

So, I’m sorry for the wall of text, but that last line needs to be called out. You are a good son. There are no expectations that you must give up your life to take care of them. If they didn’t plan ahead for life and expected you to come home, that’s their problem, not yours. Of course help where you feel comfortable, but it should be because you want to and it fits in your life, not because they expect it.

The mushroom Swiss was genuinely a great burger. Of course hardly anyone ordered it.

I worked at McDs during the 1/3 Angus burger and… yes. It happened, more times than I’d like. I tried convincing a couple people, then after that who cared. I was getting $8/hr. Fuck it it’s a worse deal and you get a smaller burger but you do you genius.

Yeah thinking the same. 10 series is new enough where 24 pin mobos were a thing, and so if it doesn’t have its own power connector then it’ll need quite a bit from the mobo.

Alright I’ll admit that it’s generalized.

I’ll amend my statement. Those are the things we do because they’re respectful to the people we care about. OP, if you don’t want a relationship with your family in the future, then absolutely go for it and sever ties with them.

I’ve cut off family before, you just sever ties if they bring you no joy. What you don’t do though is act sulky and try to blame it on religion ( which they did, because if it wasn’t relevant they wouldn’t have mentioned it). That is not a mature way to handle it.

I have both a loving and caring side of the family and one who sucks all joy and happiness. I severed one off, the other I put on my good clothes and suffer through them telling me stories of things I don’t care about. That’s what you do when you care about people.

Its the same thing if your best friend goes out/marries someone you don’t like. You can cut off your friend, or you can do something immature like demanding they spend time with only you, or you can be a grown up and put up with their SO because you love your friend and know they make them happy, and you know your friend would be hurt if you made them choose. The spoiler though is that only one of those three options allows you to keep the friendship.

This isn’t about religion, even if you’re trying to make it about religion. You want to get out of your father’s funeral because it makes you uncomfortable.

Life is full of uncomfortable things, you’ll need to get used to it. There’s thousands of times you’ll need to suck it up and be around people you don’t like because it’s the respectful thing to do.

I’m agnostic, used to be atheist. I thought the same thing. Your fathers funeral, family dinners, respectful times, you’re not “making a stand” you’re being whiney and immature. Atheists celebrate Christmas, go to weddings and funerals. We just sit there silently and respectfully. That’s how we actually want to be viewed outside of a religious context.

Figure out the reason you don’t actually want to go and then learn from it. That’s what growing up is.

Yeah I hate saying “use something else” but jellyfin really is not the right tool for audiobooks. OP is seeing the frustration now. Audiobookshelf is the way to go.