I’ve had several conversations/arguments recently with my brother making clear my system of values and my hatred for the wealthy. He is nearly diametrically opposed on all accounts and often makes light of their actions. He goes so far as to say that poor people and people in need of social services should have to figure things out for themselves. He often defends Elon Musk and champions him for being self made.

He is getting married in a foreign country soon and I have been able to put aside our differences and have been planning on going

…up until yesterday that is. I asked him of his thoughts on Musk’s seig heil maneuver and he sent a right wing meme of democratic leaders caught mid wave, saying that “they did it first”. He continued to be avoidant and didn’t respond to me calling it a strawman.

In this moment it feels necessary to cancel my plans to send a message that this is not ok. Am I the (or an) asshole for not going to his wedding because of this?

  • dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.worldOP
    20·
    9 hours ago

    Perhaps I should clarify things even further:

    They are actually already married and I was at their first wedding. It was done at the courthouse during the pandemic so they could initiate her greencard application. This upcoming wedding is more of a celebration for the families.

    I have two other brothers who are not going for unrelated reasons.

    Not that these facts necessarily change anything, I felt they’re worth bearing in mind.

    • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
      1·
      2 hours ago

      That changes nothing. You need to decode whether you want your brother in your life and how much if the family ypu would want cutting off.

    • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
      3·
      3 hours ago

      I think that does change things.

      I was previously inclined towards something like, “He’s your brother, and I would try and say to him that while you disagree with him as fully as it’s possible to, you will still be there because he’s your brother, and that still means something to you” or similar. Something that might get him to understand that this isn’t easy for you.

      However, if you were already at his actual wedding, and this is just a party in another country, nah - tbh, I think it’d be fair to give it a miss even if he wasn’t being a Nazi apologist.

    • P00ptart@lemmy.world
      11·
      8 hours ago

      Yeah, you went to the wedding already. You did your part. Asking you to go to another country for something that’s already done just screams “give me attention” more than a wedding already does. That should be enough on its own.