I’ve had several conversations/arguments recently with my brother making clear my system of values and my hatred for the wealthy. He is nearly diametrically opposed on all accounts and often makes light of their actions. He goes so far as to say that poor people and people in need of social services should have to figure things out for themselves. He often defends Elon Musk and champions him for being self made.
He is getting married in a foreign country soon and I have been able to put aside our differences and have been planning on going
…up until yesterday that is. I asked him of his thoughts on Musk’s seig heil maneuver and he sent a right wing meme of democratic leaders caught mid wave, saying that “they did it first”. He continued to be avoidant and didn’t respond to me calling it a strawman.
In this moment it feels necessary to cancel my plans to send a message that this is not ok. Am I the (or an) asshole for not going to his wedding because of this?
Realise that you’re choosing to listen to Nazis rather than not interact with them, or not to listen to them.
Sure, someone is family. But as someone for whom family is important – even I would have my borders. If that family member were to constantly make horrid remarks – would you then really want to spend that energy having a dinner with them? The OP already has tried to talk several times and express how it bothers them. But the Nazi ignores that and doesn’t change their behaviour.
Then it’s clear: for your mental health, it’s better not to talk with them anymore. Some people, however extreme, are reconcillable. But those where you reach out multiple times, and they don’t wish to listen - there it’s a waste of time.
Nazis are way more of an echo chamber than normal people are, and the only answer to that is to close the door behind, with a note: “will talk with you only, once you change your behaviour”.
OP has tried to reach out multiple times to address their concerns, but all reactions from the family member boil down to not wanting to listen to these concerns. Is the OP then creating an echo chamber, or is the Nazi creating that for himself? Take your time to reflect on what your decision entails.