• Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      It’s been ages since I’ve actually gone through it but what I remember of it, it goes like this:

      • Roseline, the chick Romeo has the hots for, has just come out as asexual. He’s not taking this well.
      • To cheer him up, his buddies suggest crashing a big party at the Capulet house tonight. Romeo tags along.
      • While moping at the party, he encounters Juliet. The two of them hit it off HARD, they both like Blink 182 AND Evanescence, what are the odds?
      • Problem: They’re respective fathers have some unspecified feud, so when it comes out just who each other are, it’s a problem.
      • We get a scene where Romeo is in the back yard and Juliet is in her bedroom looking out the window, two back to back speeches about "(s)he’s hot, it’s a shame our dads hate each other.
      • They decide to run off to Vegas and get hitched anyway.
      • The parties get separated, and then there is a compounding series of “a thing has happened!” “I know! I’ll make it look like I’ve done something drastic for some damn reason, and I’ll send a messenger to tell the other party that I haven’t really done that.” “A thing has happened, and the messenger carrying a message that would completely inform your decision hasn’t arrived yet.” “I know, I’ll do something drastic for some damn reason!”
      • This ends in the two fathers standing over an almost literal pile of corpses to include the titular teenagers, trying to remember what they were even fighting about in the first place.
      • Roseline is unscathed.

      Moral of the story: Latency is just as important as bandwidth.