• baltakatei@sopuli.xyz
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      19
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      3 days ago

      Monopoly offers:

      • 250 USD toaster with no ads
      • 17 USD toaster with ads that only works with authorized bread distributors
      • Krelis_@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        Subscription based, loaves becoming slightly smaller every year, fees bumped up every 2 years, toaster hardware obsolete in 5 years.

        Edit: every other bakery bought or gone burst, CEO paying lobbyists to make ovens illegal ‘to protect the children’.

        • Exec@pawb.social
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          3 days ago

          You’ll be required to scan the barcode of the packaging of the bread to continue
          to validate if your bread is up to quality standards

          • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Each slice will come with a disposable cryptowrapper that will be used by the toaster to validates the authenticity of the bread within.

            Given the high risk of deaths from house fires caused by toasting unregulated slices of black market bread–maybe inserted by unsuperivsed children–this is the most socially responsible path forward.

            • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.worksM
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              2 days ago

              🍞🎁This holiday season give a eToast gift carb! Unsolicitedly surprise your breadies with a reloadable gift card and a loaf they can use to toast ad-free or purchase a loaf of their own! 🍞🎁