…Da Hoop Shredding Gigolo…

Hoop Shredding Gigolo (pictured above) : https://youtu.be/bpR0bULsl-0&t=787

This is Pat Finnerty’s (accurate) take on writing a hit Offspring song.

Lmfao! So many good quotes

• We only walk forwards in this house!
• Guy with a pedo moustache pulls me into a slow dance
• So let’s gang up on this guy and make him watch us dance

Getting strong 2007 newgrounds vibes

Whilst I like the idea of it, I can barely hear the lyrics without the visual aid of the video

That bardcore one is surprisingly good

I had a cousin who would sing to her kid to the tune of the CanCan song:

I’ve got something in my nappy, making me unhappy, tralalala la lalalalalala (repeat)

I think of these trilogy of songs often

If you’re in shape, that goes a long way. Try looking up speed dating events in your area and see what happens. Who knows, maybe you’re more charming than you think after a drink or two?

On you get that confidence, soft skills come a little easier.

Living with your parent isn’t the immediate L you think it is, plenty of people in their 40s in this position, and it’s a great way to save to buy your own place somewhere.

If your food and shelter is taken care of, try interning (for free…) at a company. Or, find your local hospice/health clinic and ask if they need some casual IT support. That’s all I got

According to my ex, I’m pretty good at defending the horrible actions of others in a conversation

Dolphins are famous for their friendly greetings, and make over 4.1 billion dollars a year in the greeting card industry.

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I will wear a dress once the wedding is over!

Kind of have to at this point, but I’ll make him work for it

Worst gay wedding ever

I was sitting in during the vows ceremony of my own wedding (everyone told me I should get married, and the groom told he would pay for everything).

When it came to the “do you take thee, to be your loyal wedded…” part, I said “yes”, as per the original plan.

When it came to his part, the best man came in out of nowhere and asked me to say thank you for this wonderful wedding. I stared at him, but then the groom himself starts going on about how I’m ungrateful for all that he’s done for me, and that without his support there would be no wedding at all.

I’m dumbfounded, the groom was the one pushing for the wedding beforehand, promising unwavouring support for it and now it’s my fault?

At this point the groom and his best man, hold hands and declare that the wedding is off, and that they’re off to some russian night club to dance off my toxicity.

Motherfucker, I didn’t ask for any of this. If I recall, you were marrying me to piss off that night club owner in the first place, and now you’re suddenly best buddies with him and putting the whole wedding on me? Asshole.

We don’t have pets but our neighbour has two cats and they are the bane of my existence. Yowling at the door even though we’ve never fed the little bastards, and scaring the birds away as they like to shake the branches of our tree.

As a result, we call the grey one “that little shit”, and the dotted one “that little cunt”. The names have stuck in our household, and we have to watch ourselves when we trade pleasantries with the neighbours.

poor cat

🎵will I follooooooooooooow? 🎵

Part of me is thinking: “But doesn’t the water slow down each time it comes into contact with the cog?”

And the answer is the yes, but the answer is also, “it begins to accelerate again right after it falls off the cog.”

And yet it’s still fucking with me, and somehow I’m imagining water getting slower and slower and less energetic each time, as if gravity itself is being weakened