I’d chose telekinesis. Heck man i’m sick of having only 2 hands and i’m lazy. I’m ready to use it everytime.

God of Toilet Paper.

You might laugh, but I would own the world.

If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit

Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.

He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.

Sixth sense/ Intuition

The power to see through clothing. Because it would remind me that no one is really important.

Healing of all kinds. Ageing, sickness, and wounds.

Never becoming deaf and always having good hearing. I’m not sure I’d be able to enjoy life anymore if I became deaf, so just having good hearing would make the rest of my life worth living, without any major side effects I could think of.

I would have the power to be naturally skilled at anything I do and having it always activated would be a bonus.

Shapeshifting. It’s what I wanted anyway and I can always just be continuously toggling the length of my little toenail to be 1mm longer or shorter.

I would want the superpower of linguistics: the ability to fluently read, speak, and understand any language ever spoken or will be spoken.